Why I will never complete Uncharted: Drake’s Fortune


As some people might know, this year is my final year at college. I know, it went a lot quicker than I thought it would too. One minute I was sitting in my room, wiling away the hours dying and re-dying my hair, eating packets of Jaffa Cakes by the box and doodling to amuse myself.

The only thing that has changed is that I chopped all my hair off (as result of constant dying), and now my scribbles and doodles are actually being marked for my thesis. *Shudder*

I can and shall(big words from me, I know) write a separate post about my thesis experience so far. It’s actually going pretty well, no complaints. Other than the fear. The ever constant looming fear that this is it, the big one. But we shall leave that trip through emotion ocean till next time.

Of course, with every big project, there has to be some sort of procrastination distraction. It’s the rules. I used to dabble in the whole stare at the computer thing for a while. I went through Facebook and Twitter until I felt ill. I had a Pinterest phase that we shall not speak of. No, I decided that this time, my distraction would be something that I liked to do, which makes it even more dangerous.

We are getting to Uncharted now. I have always been a Playstation gal. Got my PS1 when I was five or six and I was hooked. Not in the overly obsessive way, I like certain games and I dislike other types of games, and usually there is no blurring of the lines or mixing of genres.

I like action adventure, RPG, and fun little games like Lego (my safe place). I REALLY do not like scary zombie games or racing or overly repetitive shooter games. And here is where Uncharted fell down.

Bear in mind, I only got Uncharted this month. WAY behind the curve, missed the bandwagon by nearly 8 years. But it was always something I wanted to play and you can pick up all three Uncharted games second-hand for the price of a new game.

So I sat down to my distraction and began the game, and a day and a half later I had stopped at 82%, never to turn it on again. It was a good game there is no doubt, but there are a few things that I didn’t like at all, and I will list them in ascending order of dislike. 5 being niggly annoying, 1 being downright loath.

No this isn’t a full review of the game, and yes, there are spoilers.

5. The game controls.

This is on the bottom of the list because I understand that this was one of the fist PS3 games to be made, and I only got a PS3 in 2010 . They have majorly improved the games since 2007. None the less, to my spoilt hands that are used to polished and responsive controls, a lot actions felt clunky and forced. Some I can only assume were experimental and hopefully did not make it into the later games, such as tilting the controller for grenades, or shaking it to dislodge enemies. Also, a lot of the time you could not tell if Nate could make a jump or not. It seemed to depend on the point in the game, sometimes a mere hop would be too much for the lad, others a crater was no bother.

4. Camera.

This annoyed me as the camera would wildly flip from 3rd person, to front facing close up, to profile, it all got a bit confusing. Especially when you are trying to shoot people outside and move inside, I often spent the first few seconds adjusting to see where I was. Usually facing death as it happened.

3. Small play time.

I feel like I was sort of cheated in this game. There are 2 locations you explore, not including the intro on the boat. A jungle in Peru and an abandoned tropical island. This may also be down to me being used to the earlier Tomb Raider games where you would explore at least 3 or 4 locations in a game. I enjoyed the new 2013 Tomb Raider a lot and yes that was only 1 location, but it felt like it had more substance than Uncharted.

The temple at the start took 20 mins to complete, and after that you are on the island, exploring different sections. I honestly felt like at the second half of the game I was wandering around the same spot over and over, because I was. I also think the game would have been cut down dramatically if you didn’t have to face every 2 minutes…

2. Massive number of enemies

The approximate 8 hours of gameplay were heavily diluted down by the sheer mass of enemies that kept you at a point for minutes at a time. Turn a corner, and you have to shoot at least 20 enemies which, then get replaced by another 20. Then another. On the bigger sections you may have to face 60 or so, just waves after waves of them.

The normal machine gun, (Ak-37? I hazard a guess) takes ages to kill even one, so I found killing them one by one with the hand gun was the best approach, even if the pace was nothing short of glacial. I felt like I was barely progressing through the game because I was constantly stuck behind a low wall or box, shooting the never-ending supply of goons wi’ guns. It got repetitive and irritating very quickly. This was my main hangup with Uncharted, until I reached 82%. This is the point where I truly could progress no further.

1. The Descendants. aka ZOMBIES.

Why. WHY did they have to go down the zombie route. I remember the moment I suspected there was something flesh-eating afoot. You climb up and into a vault type place to open a gate for Elena to get in. As you drop to the ground, you are prompted to click the hint button. I did. You see a glimpse of something running above you out of sight, and Nate says something like “what was that..”. I thought nothing of it at first.

But them I realised. It can’t be normal enemies. If it were they wouldn’t have bothered with that hint at all. Why would they draw attention to it. So I launched up the auld laptop and it didn’t take me two minutes to find out “The Descendants” were waiting for me.

Awful, pale, crawly zombie things that run at you on all fours and rip your throat out. No thanks. I was truly disappointed with this development. I figured there was something supernatural in the game, sure, but a bit more searching and I find out later you have to walk in pitch black nazi bunker with a torch, filled with Descendants. No way. That is proper horror genre there. I didn’t sign up to play Resident Evil did I? Nope. I just wanted to jump around, explore some ruins and kill some baddies.

Gimme a Lego game to calm me nerves.

The game will forever be at 82% now. Sorry Nate, it didn’t work out with us, I’m gonna find a different game to distract me now.


3 thoughts on “Why I will never complete Uncharted: Drake’s Fortune

  1. Jade says:

    Haha this was one of the few games I’ve actually finished. I finished all of them in the series. Sure it has some pitfalls (agree with the number of enemies and the short gameplay) but one of the reason I finished the game is that it didn’t take me 5 months to get half way through it. It’s also the reason I liked dishonored which is also an incredibly short game. Besides the last two are much better than the first one and this was one of the first games I played where the movement of the character felt so incredibly fluid and realistic rather than a human pantomime.

    1. IzzyMac says:

      I did in fact go and play the second one (after many problems with the spinning dagger of death screen) and I found it to be one of my favourite games. I think the mix of locations and improvement in the puzzle sections made it more enjoyable than the first, plus, the Guardians weren’t awful zombie creatures!

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